I SO DON'T GOT THIS.

Today my house is relatively clean.  I only have about 5 loads of laundry waiting for me.  I took a nap today.  No one punched me in the face. But, this is just today.  Today it may look like I got this, but I so do not.

I've been forced to ask for help - especially since we went from a family of 4 to 7. Ben allowed me to get a cleaning lady every other week when the three kids came to live with us last summer.  I knew that I couldn't do it all, so finding things I could outsource became a necessity.  I knew that if I didn't have some extra help, the house would make me crazy. Luckily we were able to find an affordable woman who does a great job.

Exhibit A

Ben and I spend a lot of time cleaning before she comes to make it worth it. We try to picked up, clear off counters, but the house still makes me crazy.  I am overwhelmed by the toys, clothes, and stuff that fills our home. But instead of focusing on having a spotless home, I've had to pick my battles.  Does my mantel look like a magazine: NO. (See Exhibit A.)  It looks more like a clearance section at Target. Bits of legos, random movies, & random things that don't have a spot - or haven't made it to theirs... 

I feel like as a mom, someone is telling me I need to have my act together.  I should have a warm meal on the table as my husband and kids get home from school. I should always respond calmly to my children, but today I saw a post in another blog that reminded me to be ok with the imperfect life we have. My kids don't want designer clothes.  They want to wear mismatched outfits that they created - and oh are they creative. They don't want fancy meals, they love fresh veggies, fruit and peanut butter sandwiches.  I don't need to be the picture perfect mom I - for some inexplicable reason - expect myself to be. 

God chose ME to be my kids' mom. He didn't find a perfect mom.  He didn't want them to have someone who I think may be better than me.  I will continue to learn how to be a better mom, read about how to declutter our house and try to be the mom I want my kids to have.  But until I get there, I refuse to feel guilty.  I refuse to be disappointed with myself that I can't do it all. God chose me because He knew that I would need to lean on Him to do it.  For that, I am grateful and am constantly proving Him right.  Without Him and the community He is surrounding us with - I DON'T GOT THIS.