The beach sounds nice...

Oh. My. Goodness. Some days are just hard. Today was one of them:  Fits. Screaming. Hitting. Biting. Yelling. Destroying. Throwing. Ugh.

I raised my voice.  I was less than kind in my tone. My attitude wasn't great.

Today feels like a fail.

But as I sit here writing this, I remember that parenting kids is hard. Parenting kids with trauma feels impossible.  The reason we do this is not just for the easy days with "I love you"s and small victories - it is for these days too.

Today, my kids were safe.  They were pulling out all the stops.  Unlike people who have parented them previous to us, I was able to stay calm enough to keep my crap together.

I did not shame them.
I did not scream.
I did not blame them.
I did not hurt them.
I did not leave them.

Since I am imperfect, I was honest about my lack of kindness. I apologized (several times.) But today, I choose to keep my kids safe. I have to remember that I showed them love. (Even if I was dreaming of being on a beach somewhere taking a nap.)

To all the mama & papa bears who keep their kids safe (when the opposite is tempting and seems easier) - keep choosing love. The reason we do this is not just for the good days, but these hard days too.