Our Story: Our Joy (Part 4)

After a horrible week losing our first bundle, I had one of the worst weeks of my life and ended up leaving my job.  I was in a terrible place emotionally & simply wanted to find joy.  I wanted to remember God's love, His faithfulness & see Him provide our joy during that difficult time. He sure did.

It was late that Friday afternoon when they called us.  They had a six month old girl who needed a home - at least for a while.  They didn't know the baby's condition, but her sister had been hospitalized due to her lack of care. It was only a few hours before they brought her to our home.  She was the happiest baby I have ever seen.  Her cheeks were round and her smile was sincere.  

I took her out of her car seat to play with her and her legs were like jello.  She was an easygoing baby with little worries, but would often stare off into space and we would have to wait until she "snapped out of it."  We gave her a bath, got her into some clean clothes and held her for hours and hours.  She was beautiful and we were already starting to fall in love.  

We knew she wasn't ours.  Within a few days, we met her mom & dad.  Visits started and we found it increasingly difficult to hand her off and allow someone else to love her.  It was a weird feeling, but we were willing to do anything for this precious girl who was stealing our hearts. I was able to develop a relationship with her mom through a notebook and phone calls.  I was sure to include updated pictures and stories about her incredible development. 

It was a good thing I had left my job because between birth to three services, doctor appointments and working with her constantly, I didn't have time for much else. She was always dressed to impress as my family had spoiled her with some new outfits and things, but we could tell that after the first two placements, they were trying not to get too attached. They didn't want to see us get hurt again - they wanted us to find our kids in the easiest way possible. It was beautiful as they eventually also grew attached and wanted her to remain a part of our lives permanently. 

There were days along the road when we were sure the judge would move our joy into a home with her sister - she was placed in a home that was willing to adopt her older sister who had much higher needs.  While we loved her, part of us wanted her to be with her sister, too. 

Weeks turned into months which turned into years and before we knew it, the Judge granted the State's petition to terminate the rights of both of her parents.  He also decided to keep the girls in the homes they were in as both girls were attached & bonded to their caretakers more than they were to each other. 

Almost a year after that day, we were able to adopt our Tashari.  She has been a joy each day & has taught us so much about God's love and faithfulness. She is now rocking in out at school, begging to do her homework and can't wait to tell her siblings how proud she is of them. She helped us to see the roller coaster that is foster care is well worth it.  She was worth every second and I would go through it all again if it meant I get to be her mom.