Our Story: And then there were seven - literally overnight (Part 6)
It was a year ago (today) when we got the call that drastically changed our lives. Before I dig into that, let me back up to last January (2015).
A foster care license needs to be renewed every two years in Milwaukee County. After four years of fostering & then adopting our two wonderful kids, our hearts were full. We felt like if we walked away, we were happy & content. We thought maybe the four of us was a complete family. As the time for renewal crept closer and closer we became less sure. God was stirring in us the room in our hearts to love more.
I made it a monthly routine to speak at foster to adopt information meetings for our agency. I would share my story, connect with people interested in possibly becoming foster parents who were interested in adopting at some place in their journey. And each meeting, someone would ask what the biggest need in foster to adopt currently is. It was simple. Teens & sibling groups.
My heart began to break.
As I shared my breaking heart with Ben, his heart was full. He was content (as was I) and we began to debate if we should remain a family of four or take in a sibling group. We just were not confident we were willing to make the sacrifices to love two or three more children. We wanted to want to, but we just decided to re-license and leave the door open.
Fast forward to Easter time and a foster family needed respite (childcare) for two girls over the two week Easter break. The girls were expected to return home and instead, remained in the foster home well past their reunification plans. We fell in love with these girls. They were so much fun, Charlie & Tashari could not get enough of them and having four wasn't as overwhelming as we thought. We started to consider we may have room in our home for more.
During the girls' stay with us, the foster family started to share their story with the girls with us and their sibling who was in another home. The three siblings may need a home together - the girls we were starting to love may need us. So, we began to pray and wait on God's timing.
It was the end of April last year when I was speaking at another foster parent info meeting. I ran into my friend who is on the licensing team at our foster care agency and told her about this sibling group we may be interested in exploring. We shared the great joy the kids brought us, but were hesitant as these kids would remain in foster care for several years since they were starting the process of reevaluating if reunification would ever be possible. YEARS. That timeline was real & I expressed to her I wished they were ready to be adopted quickly so we wouldn't have to live in limbo.
That upcoming weekend we began to dream. Date night became a long discussion of "what ifs". Twins would be fun. If we took in more, it would be great to consider the next summer (2016) - or later. We did like the idea of giving Tashari an older brother - we thought she would love that. Wouldn't it be hilarious if they were hispanic? Ben is Chinese, we have two adopted black kids & I'm white - it would be crazy if an additional placement was of another race.
That week, we got the call that made us stop in our tracks. My friend - who I had run into only 10 days before - had a sibling group who was post TPR. They were ready for adoption, but needed to be picked up and ideally taken to their forever home that night. Twins & a boy older than Tashari. They were hispanic. They would be adopted in 6 months.
No. Absolutely not was our answer. We are not waiting for kids. We are not on "the list". We are not ready or willing to sacrifice immediately - we are still just considering this as an option. If you need us to commit right now, the answer is no.
I hang up the phone and can not keep it together. I am uncontrollable crying as I consider the decision we just made. We had said no to another placement when Charlie was a baby and since, and I have never had that reaction. I knew they were our kids, but Ben wasn't seeing it that way.
We got in the car when the babysitters arrived and drove to dinner. I still am a complete mess - not really knowing why I felt so broken for these specific kids I had never met - only heard short descriptions of. Ben wanted to go into dinner when we arrived in the parking lot and I asked him to pray that God would take this burden from me. He prayed and after he prayed, he told me to call Katie (my friend from placement). We needed them to bring us our kids. And then there were seven.
A foster care license needs to be renewed every two years in Milwaukee County. After four years of fostering & then adopting our two wonderful kids, our hearts were full. We felt like if we walked away, we were happy & content. We thought maybe the four of us was a complete family. As the time for renewal crept closer and closer we became less sure. God was stirring in us the room in our hearts to love more.
I made it a monthly routine to speak at foster to adopt information meetings for our agency. I would share my story, connect with people interested in possibly becoming foster parents who were interested in adopting at some place in their journey. And each meeting, someone would ask what the biggest need in foster to adopt currently is. It was simple. Teens & sibling groups.
My heart began to break.
As I shared my breaking heart with Ben, his heart was full. He was content (as was I) and we began to debate if we should remain a family of four or take in a sibling group. We just were not confident we were willing to make the sacrifices to love two or three more children. We wanted to want to, but we just decided to re-license and leave the door open.
Fast forward to Easter time and a foster family needed respite (childcare) for two girls over the two week Easter break. The girls were expected to return home and instead, remained in the foster home well past their reunification plans. We fell in love with these girls. They were so much fun, Charlie & Tashari could not get enough of them and having four wasn't as overwhelming as we thought. We started to consider we may have room in our home for more.
During the girls' stay with us, the foster family started to share their story with the girls with us and their sibling who was in another home. The three siblings may need a home together - the girls we were starting to love may need us. So, we began to pray and wait on God's timing.
It was the end of April last year when I was speaking at another foster parent info meeting. I ran into my friend who is on the licensing team at our foster care agency and told her about this sibling group we may be interested in exploring. We shared the great joy the kids brought us, but were hesitant as these kids would remain in foster care for several years since they were starting the process of reevaluating if reunification would ever be possible. YEARS. That timeline was real & I expressed to her I wished they were ready to be adopted quickly so we wouldn't have to live in limbo.
That upcoming weekend we began to dream. Date night became a long discussion of "what ifs". Twins would be fun. If we took in more, it would be great to consider the next summer (2016) - or later. We did like the idea of giving Tashari an older brother - we thought she would love that. Wouldn't it be hilarious if they were hispanic? Ben is Chinese, we have two adopted black kids & I'm white - it would be crazy if an additional placement was of another race.
That week, we got the call that made us stop in our tracks. My friend - who I had run into only 10 days before - had a sibling group who was post TPR. They were ready for adoption, but needed to be picked up and ideally taken to their forever home that night. Twins & a boy older than Tashari. They were hispanic. They would be adopted in 6 months.
No. Absolutely not was our answer. We are not waiting for kids. We are not on "the list". We are not ready or willing to sacrifice immediately - we are still just considering this as an option. If you need us to commit right now, the answer is no.
I hang up the phone and can not keep it together. I am uncontrollable crying as I consider the decision we just made. We had said no to another placement when Charlie was a baby and since, and I have never had that reaction. I knew they were our kids, but Ben wasn't seeing it that way.
We got in the car when the babysitters arrived and drove to dinner. I still am a complete mess - not really knowing why I felt so broken for these specific kids I had never met - only heard short descriptions of. Ben wanted to go into dinner when we arrived in the parking lot and I asked him to pray that God would take this burden from me. He prayed and after he prayed, he told me to call Katie (my friend from placement). We needed them to bring us our kids. And then there were seven.
Comments
Post a Comment