To medicate or not to medicate. That is the question.
About 5 years ago, I was a young mom with LOTS of nannying/babysitting experience. On staff at a church, I was in charge of hundreds of kids. I had a lot of experience with kids. There was that one class in college I took on child psychology. With all that knowledge, I didn't really believe in medicating kids with mild/moderate behavior issues. I knew there were kids who needed meds, but I thought only a handful of kids would benefit from them. It was hard for me to imagine kids on meds as young as 8, 6 or even 4. But, WOW has my opinion changed.
Over the past several years, I have seen medications change my kids' lives. I have seen sleeping meds allow a couple of my kids with PTSD to find rest (vs hours of screaming at bedtime). I have seen medications keep my oldest son out of a behavioral health hospital after almost 4 weeks in and out. Honestly, those medication decisions were the easiest. The necessity of the medications were obvious.
The psychiatrist was clear and compared my kids' diagnosis to heart conditions. She asked me if was aware that one pill (or even several) a day could help our son's heart work better, wouldn't we try it? The meds she prescribes cab help brains. The problem is not as visible to most, but she reminded me that their brains need help sometimes to work properly and it is our choice how much we want to try.
So, now I'm here aware of the necessity of some. My oldest's teacher called me within 30 minutes of dropping him off at school saying he was in the office and I may need to pick him up a couple times last year. Both days we had forgotten his meds in the chaos of the morning. Whoops. At least we learned his meds are necessary. He literally cannot keep others or himself safe without them.
Recently, I have seen one of my 5 year old's verbal skills skyrocket with the use of an anxiety medication. I was hesitant to try it because he is only 5, but his inability to keep other kids safe or keep up with his "normal" home behavior at school led to more diagnosis and hard realities. He - at least for a season - will need help to curb the anxiety he feels when he is separated from us.
We have already tried so many therapists, coping skills, attachment strategies during his little life with us over the past 2 1/2 years. The teachers and I have brainstormed and tried so many things. They have kept him in the classroom. We tried me picking him up from school several times. I have sat inside his classroom for hours. His teachers have asked for help and resources long after we exhausted things to try. The school has worked with us. I have advocated when we weren't all on the same page.
It has been a long road. Medications were NOT our first go to. They have been a last resort. Therapies will continue. We will continue to learn and try to understand how trauma has altered his brain. We will also remember that all 5 year old kids cry and scream and fight. We need to keep in mind what is typical behavior, but be ok with the fact that many of their behaviors - even if we "can" live with them, are not to be ignored.
Now, with our two boys who are medicated and have had significant trauma, I am also understand that one of my babies - the one I raised from birth also has impulse control issues. He is often out of control. Seeing him in the therapy room this week broke my heart. He couldn't sit still, couldn't focus and then got hyper focused on other things. It woke me up. He also needs help.
This son whose mental health has been pushed on the back burner (as we had bigger behavior/mental health issues in our other kids) is now struggling more in school and at home. Hes so impulsive. His heart is breaking as he can not control his strength and is hurting people, destroying things and unable to stop in the moment. He is almost always apologetic and sad about his choices immediately after.
As we learn more from the therapists and psychiatrists and then eventually get off the waiting list for the psych eval, we will have more answers of what is going on. What is biological. Which things can be linked to trauma. We will discover how to move forward. In the mean time we will continue to resource teachers, partner with the school. We will do everything we can to parent our kids without meds.
We will trudge on, we will keep learning and keep using therapy and other resources to keep medications away as much as possible. We will try, but we will also not keep our kids from getting the help they need because of pride. I will not allow the way I used to feel about medications keep my kids from being successful. There is no way we will rely on meds to fix all of our kids' problems, but I can not allow my fear of being judged and misunderstood to get in the way either.
Please keep an open mind and allow others to do what is best for their kids. Understand that no parent wants their kids to be medicated. These decisions are impossible to make. But if you saw the growth in my kids - their ability to speak, read/comprehend, learn, stay in class, sleep, enjoy life - it really has become a no brainer. While I wish my kids could be successful without meds, they need them right now and I have to be ok with that. We will keep trying to be sure they are on the least amount possible, but know that their brains need help. Who am I to stand in the way of them getting the resources they need?
Over the past several years, I have seen medications change my kids' lives. I have seen sleeping meds allow a couple of my kids with PTSD to find rest (vs hours of screaming at bedtime). I have seen medications keep my oldest son out of a behavioral health hospital after almost 4 weeks in and out. Honestly, those medication decisions were the easiest. The necessity of the medications were obvious.
The psychiatrist was clear and compared my kids' diagnosis to heart conditions. She asked me if was aware that one pill (or even several) a day could help our son's heart work better, wouldn't we try it? The meds she prescribes cab help brains. The problem is not as visible to most, but she reminded me that their brains need help sometimes to work properly and it is our choice how much we want to try.
So, now I'm here aware of the necessity of some. My oldest's teacher called me within 30 minutes of dropping him off at school saying he was in the office and I may need to pick him up a couple times last year. Both days we had forgotten his meds in the chaos of the morning. Whoops. At least we learned his meds are necessary. He literally cannot keep others or himself safe without them.
Recently, I have seen one of my 5 year old's verbal skills skyrocket with the use of an anxiety medication. I was hesitant to try it because he is only 5, but his inability to keep other kids safe or keep up with his "normal" home behavior at school led to more diagnosis and hard realities. He - at least for a season - will need help to curb the anxiety he feels when he is separated from us.
We have already tried so many therapists, coping skills, attachment strategies during his little life with us over the past 2 1/2 years. The teachers and I have brainstormed and tried so many things. They have kept him in the classroom. We tried me picking him up from school several times. I have sat inside his classroom for hours. His teachers have asked for help and resources long after we exhausted things to try. The school has worked with us. I have advocated when we weren't all on the same page.
It has been a long road. Medications were NOT our first go to. They have been a last resort. Therapies will continue. We will continue to learn and try to understand how trauma has altered his brain. We will also remember that all 5 year old kids cry and scream and fight. We need to keep in mind what is typical behavior, but be ok with the fact that many of their behaviors - even if we "can" live with them, are not to be ignored.
Now, with our two boys who are medicated and have had significant trauma, I am also understand that one of my babies - the one I raised from birth also has impulse control issues. He is often out of control. Seeing him in the therapy room this week broke my heart. He couldn't sit still, couldn't focus and then got hyper focused on other things. It woke me up. He also needs help.
This son whose mental health has been pushed on the back burner (as we had bigger behavior/mental health issues in our other kids) is now struggling more in school and at home. Hes so impulsive. His heart is breaking as he can not control his strength and is hurting people, destroying things and unable to stop in the moment. He is almost always apologetic and sad about his choices immediately after.
As we learn more from the therapists and psychiatrists and then eventually get off the waiting list for the psych eval, we will have more answers of what is going on. What is biological. Which things can be linked to trauma. We will discover how to move forward. In the mean time we will continue to resource teachers, partner with the school. We will do everything we can to parent our kids without meds.
We will trudge on, we will keep learning and keep using therapy and other resources to keep medications away as much as possible. We will try, but we will also not keep our kids from getting the help they need because of pride. I will not allow the way I used to feel about medications keep my kids from being successful. There is no way we will rely on meds to fix all of our kids' problems, but I can not allow my fear of being judged and misunderstood to get in the way either.
Please keep an open mind and allow others to do what is best for their kids. Understand that no parent wants their kids to be medicated. These decisions are impossible to make. But if you saw the growth in my kids - their ability to speak, read/comprehend, learn, stay in class, sleep, enjoy life - it really has become a no brainer. While I wish my kids could be successful without meds, they need them right now and I have to be ok with that. We will keep trying to be sure they are on the least amount possible, but know that their brains need help. Who am I to stand in the way of them getting the resources they need?
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