Back to School - Where They Have Our Back
Summer is glorious. We had so much fun. We laughed, we cried, we saw movies, we were regulars at the pool, spent tons of time together, we enjoyed so many moments of simply enjoying each other and it was easy to forget the hard moments. Sure, two of the boys got kicked out of a camp, but that meant more one on one time with me! Sure, they had to be in bed super early (like asleep by 7pm early) each night so we missed campfires, late night movies and parties. Of course there were hard days, but my heart is full. I was able to forget about all the days of not getting ready for school. I was able to forget (most days) about the trauma and anxiety - my oldest even got to go to a camp that was basically designed for him! Summer filled us up.
But last week something happened. My kids broke down. They knew they were starting school - which they LOVE, but they also knew that meant that weeknights we were spending eating hot dogs and popsicles while playing in the yard were now going to be spent doing homework and reading. They knew that the silly, crazy college age camp counselors were much less strict than the incredible teachers who hold them accountable to their behavior and responsibilities at school. They knew they wouldn't get away with as much - they know school has space to be crazy and fun, but also is about teaching them respect, kindness, responsibility and self control. They are aware they will be held accountable to who they want to be and while that is so amazing and beautiful, it always makes them more aware of their sin, flaws and selfishness.
So, last week at this time, I was also broken. I felt alone. I felt unseen and forgotten. My kids were a mess - crabby, disrespectful and disobedient. It was the day before school started and when I left them with my very capable babysitter while I took one to an apt, they completely took advantage of her kindness and trust. It broke my heart because I knew the pressure of uniforms, school expectations and anxiety of the first day of school was weighing on them. They wanted to hold on to the freedom of summer as much as possible.
But today after a week of school, I am encouraged. I am strengthened by a school who has my back. Yesterday alone: they didn't allow my son to spit in his teacher's face without a consequence, they didn't allow my other son to be disrespectful to the aftercare staff, and they sent a teacher down to meet my kid who is struggling to get into the building safely. They held my kids accountable to who they are capable of being.
You think I'd be a mess after the last 24 hours of this kind of behavior, but instead of just allowing Ben and I to carry this burden alone, we have learned to lean into the support of our kid's school. My son's old teacher even sent me an encouraging text this morning because we became so close as she loved my son last year through the rough days and my daughter she has this year doesn't require the same communication. What an encouragement - she remembers I may need her even though she has a whole new set of students to love on.
I'm in tears as I write this because God called us to the city to put our kids in this school. I am currently listening to the song Oceans (Hillsong United) God used to speak to us over the past 4 years:
Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders,
Let me walk upon the waters - wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,
And my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior
Three years we moved outside our comfort zone in obedience and now God is showing me exactly why. Not only do we have an incredible neighborhood, but the school God has provided for my kids has been a priceless gift. I am so grateful for God's hand in our lives and the way He showed us where He wanted us so we no longer had to feel alone.
So mamas that are struggling and feel alone, please advocate for yourselves and your children. Speak up with what you think your kids' need. Keep pushing and don't give up. Know God has given you your children specifically as yours, but also entrusted you to show up for them - advocating for them, saying no to them, following through on consequences, drawing them near when they push you away. So keep on asking for help. Keep praying. Don't do this alone - doing it together & allowing other people to speak into our kids' lives has changed us for the better. Ben and I could never have imagined the way God would use our need for others to show us God's faithfulness. Be encouraged.
(Photo: They were being "too cool for school" 😂)
But last week something happened. My kids broke down. They knew they were starting school - which they LOVE, but they also knew that meant that weeknights we were spending eating hot dogs and popsicles while playing in the yard were now going to be spent doing homework and reading. They knew that the silly, crazy college age camp counselors were much less strict than the incredible teachers who hold them accountable to their behavior and responsibilities at school. They knew they wouldn't get away with as much - they know school has space to be crazy and fun, but also is about teaching them respect, kindness, responsibility and self control. They are aware they will be held accountable to who they want to be and while that is so amazing and beautiful, it always makes them more aware of their sin, flaws and selfishness.
So, last week at this time, I was also broken. I felt alone. I felt unseen and forgotten. My kids were a mess - crabby, disrespectful and disobedient. It was the day before school started and when I left them with my very capable babysitter while I took one to an apt, they completely took advantage of her kindness and trust. It broke my heart because I knew the pressure of uniforms, school expectations and anxiety of the first day of school was weighing on them. They wanted to hold on to the freedom of summer as much as possible.
But today after a week of school, I am encouraged. I am strengthened by a school who has my back. Yesterday alone: they didn't allow my son to spit in his teacher's face without a consequence, they didn't allow my other son to be disrespectful to the aftercare staff, and they sent a teacher down to meet my kid who is struggling to get into the building safely. They held my kids accountable to who they are capable of being.
You think I'd be a mess after the last 24 hours of this kind of behavior, but instead of just allowing Ben and I to carry this burden alone, we have learned to lean into the support of our kid's school. My son's old teacher even sent me an encouraging text this morning because we became so close as she loved my son last year through the rough days and my daughter she has this year doesn't require the same communication. What an encouragement - she remembers I may need her even though she has a whole new set of students to love on.
I'm in tears as I write this because God called us to the city to put our kids in this school. I am currently listening to the song Oceans (Hillsong United) God used to speak to us over the past 4 years:
Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders,
Let me walk upon the waters - wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,
And my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior
Three years we moved outside our comfort zone in obedience and now God is showing me exactly why. Not only do we have an incredible neighborhood, but the school God has provided for my kids has been a priceless gift. I am so grateful for God's hand in our lives and the way He showed us where He wanted us so we no longer had to feel alone.
So mamas that are struggling and feel alone, please advocate for yourselves and your children. Speak up with what you think your kids' need. Keep pushing and don't give up. Know God has given you your children specifically as yours, but also entrusted you to show up for them - advocating for them, saying no to them, following through on consequences, drawing them near when they push you away. So keep on asking for help. Keep praying. Don't do this alone - doing it together & allowing other people to speak into our kids' lives has changed us for the better. Ben and I could never have imagined the way God would use our need for others to show us God's faithfulness. Be encouraged.(Photo: They were being "too cool for school" 😂)
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