Sitting in the (school) Copy Room
Some days at a parent you are out of ideas. The kids can't keep it together long enough for me to get anything done. With my computer, phone and a book to keep myself occupied until I can be useful to a teacher. I want to be able to step in to help a teacher at the drop of a hat.
It is impossible to know what is going to happen with my unpredictable kids - especially the one who never make the same choices twice. One day spitting at the teacher. The next day pushing kids at recess. Most days rolling around the floor. Another day smearing glue all over his desk. You want to be able to provide consequences that are natural, but its impossible to keep up with all the things misused once. There is not a clear time of day, place or trigger for these kids. He struggles everywhere, but not all the time.
They've tried sending him to the office - sometimes several times a day. Teachers have called me to give him a pep talk. They give him second chances. His teacher reads to him during nap time. We talk though his choices at home. He writes apology notes/pictures. Going to bed early is a regular occurrence. Teachers keep me in the loop & we brainstorm new ideas/practices.
The problem for me is he continues to rock it when I walk into his classroom. He listens, sits nicely and obeys his teachers. At the end of day he is coming home and listening - rarely struggling to be kind. Trauma (PTSD) and whatever else is going on in his little brain is still a mystery. The days of waiting for a neuropsych eval are feeling longer and longer.
So, here I am. Sitting outside my kids' classroom in the copy room. Writing. Praying. Unsure what to do next. How do I resource the teachers? Do I have additional consequences at home after school has consequences here? Is my kids' goal to come home? Should I let him decide if he wants to go home? When I talk to him should I be sad, angry, stern, emotionless?
There are no right answers. I want a script to follow, but there just isn't one. Can someone just tell me what to do?! Is there a resource that can help me discover how to love my son well? The good news is I won't be the mom sitting in the copy room forever. Someday we will find out whats going on. Maybe the resources we need will be found. There are options (most which I don't like at all) we could try - a new school, more meds, different therapies. But we will keep on working. I will keep sitting here, ready to serve the teachers and provide whatever it is my son needs.
It is impossible to know what is going to happen with my unpredictable kids - especially the one who never make the same choices twice. One day spitting at the teacher. The next day pushing kids at recess. Most days rolling around the floor. Another day smearing glue all over his desk. You want to be able to provide consequences that are natural, but its impossible to keep up with all the things misused once. There is not a clear time of day, place or trigger for these kids. He struggles everywhere, but not all the time.
They've tried sending him to the office - sometimes several times a day. Teachers have called me to give him a pep talk. They give him second chances. His teacher reads to him during nap time. We talk though his choices at home. He writes apology notes/pictures. Going to bed early is a regular occurrence. Teachers keep me in the loop & we brainstorm new ideas/practices.
The problem for me is he continues to rock it when I walk into his classroom. He listens, sits nicely and obeys his teachers. At the end of day he is coming home and listening - rarely struggling to be kind. Trauma (PTSD) and whatever else is going on in his little brain is still a mystery. The days of waiting for a neuropsych eval are feeling longer and longer.
So, here I am. Sitting outside my kids' classroom in the copy room. Writing. Praying. Unsure what to do next. How do I resource the teachers? Do I have additional consequences at home after school has consequences here? Is my kids' goal to come home? Should I let him decide if he wants to go home? When I talk to him should I be sad, angry, stern, emotionless?
There are no right answers. I want a script to follow, but there just isn't one. Can someone just tell me what to do?! Is there a resource that can help me discover how to love my son well? The good news is I won't be the mom sitting in the copy room forever. Someday we will find out whats going on. Maybe the resources we need will be found. There are options (most which I don't like at all) we could try - a new school, more meds, different therapies. But we will keep on working. I will keep sitting here, ready to serve the teachers and provide whatever it is my son needs.
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