Finding rest.

Sending Ben off to a weekend with some of his buddies to see his college football team demolish their competition and find some refreshment was much easier than I thought. He is an incredible, loving, selfless dad who is working harder than anyone I know to be the best father he can for his kids. He has been so frustrated seeing the trauma and history that has effected our kids' ability to give and receive love, but instead of half ass-ing this whole parenting thing he has attended therapy sessions, read blogs & resources and asked for help. I could not be prouder of him and happier to kick him out of the house for some serious rest.

I thought this weekend would be much more difficult due to the (unconfirmed) longest fall break record has been claimed by my kids' elementary school. Guess who has time to help a mom with 5 kids with trauma for the last week in October. NOBODY.  But my husband decided to help me find rest. He took the kids to church so I could sleep in, he kicked me out of the house as he often does to grab a bite with a friend to find encouragement and support.  He even took valuable vacation time so he could hang out with us a few days over the break.

Being a parent with someone who loves me so ridiculously and sacrificially has allowed me to enjoy my kids and our life so much more. I am so grateful that our rest in Christ is able to shine through because we are taking the time to date each week, remind each other that we need help and saying out loud the things we see the other do well. Somehow - despite the insanity that is our lives - I am at peace and couldn't be more grateful for the path that got us here. I know more hard days will come and the struggles are real and still present, but our God is bigger. Today, I can rely on God to provide peace and my husband who makes sure I don't miss it.