I am totally that mom. Don't judge.
You know that kid screaming in that public place? You know that kid leaving OT (occupational therapy) without pants? You know the little kid who is weeping as he walks into school with part of his uniform in his backpack? You know that kid who didn't get their homework done? You know that kid that chose not to eat their dinner? You know your neighbor girl who is screaming bloody murder (with the windows open)?
I am that kid's mom.
All of these things literally happened in my house. TODAY. (Let's pretend they didn't all happen today.) But seriously - don't judge.
It's not that I don't care if my son gets dinner, but he had a choice. HE chose not to eat it. I care my kid was embarrassed walking somewhere not properly dressed for the occasion. The reason I don't look as mortified as I feel is because I know I am showing my kid love. I am allowing people to look at them when they are being rude, dangerous or disobedient. I am ok with the teacher knowing I can't convince my kid to do their homework every single day. I don't got this whole parenting thing - and no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to control my kids to do the "right" things. I choose to let them make their own choices.
When we allow them to make choices, we also have to allow them to experience the natural consequences. I refuse to rescue them from embarrassment and extra work. Hopefully if they learn the hard truths of life while they are safe & young in my home, they won't make as many crucial mistakes as they grow.
I see all the other people looking at me, some probably judging me - thinking I don't care about my kid or think I'm too hard on them. But love looks like following through & being consistent. My son was screaming and crying all the way home from school yesterday because one of his choices at school landed him on the bottom behavior chat color. He realized when he saw me that he wouldn't get to read our special book together. He was already morning the loss - of HIS choices. Did I want to read to him? So much. But next time he considers taking something that isn't his, he may reconsider - just as we as adults need to make these kinds of choices daily.
Every day I choose to get out of bed. Every day I choose to show up for my family, take responsibility for my mistakes and try again to do the right things. My kids get to see me mess up regularly. They have heard TONS of apologies from me - for words I shouldn't have said, things I wish I wouldn't have done or things I wish I could change. I would not be the person I am today if no one let me live out the consequences of my behavior. My life would look a lot differently.
So, when you see my kids melting, when you see a parent struggling, don't assume they are being mean or the kid is a bad kid. Quite possibly that kid made a choice that lead to that situation & that parent is allowing them to grow. So please don't make assumptions - encourage them to keep on parenting well.
I am that kid's mom.
All of these things literally happened in my house. TODAY. (Let's pretend they didn't all happen today.) But seriously - don't judge.
It's not that I don't care if my son gets dinner, but he had a choice. HE chose not to eat it. I care my kid was embarrassed walking somewhere not properly dressed for the occasion. The reason I don't look as mortified as I feel is because I know I am showing my kid love. I am allowing people to look at them when they are being rude, dangerous or disobedient. I am ok with the teacher knowing I can't convince my kid to do their homework every single day. I don't got this whole parenting thing - and no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to control my kids to do the "right" things. I choose to let them make their own choices.
When we allow them to make choices, we also have to allow them to experience the natural consequences. I refuse to rescue them from embarrassment and extra work. Hopefully if they learn the hard truths of life while they are safe & young in my home, they won't make as many crucial mistakes as they grow.
I see all the other people looking at me, some probably judging me - thinking I don't care about my kid or think I'm too hard on them. But love looks like following through & being consistent. My son was screaming and crying all the way home from school yesterday because one of his choices at school landed him on the bottom behavior chat color. He realized when he saw me that he wouldn't get to read our special book together. He was already morning the loss - of HIS choices. Did I want to read to him? So much. But next time he considers taking something that isn't his, he may reconsider - just as we as adults need to make these kinds of choices daily.
Every day I choose to get out of bed. Every day I choose to show up for my family, take responsibility for my mistakes and try again to do the right things. My kids get to see me mess up regularly. They have heard TONS of apologies from me - for words I shouldn't have said, things I wish I wouldn't have done or things I wish I could change. I would not be the person I am today if no one let me live out the consequences of my behavior. My life would look a lot differently.
So, when you see my kids melting, when you see a parent struggling, don't assume they are being mean or the kid is a bad kid. Quite possibly that kid made a choice that lead to that situation & that parent is allowing them to grow. So please don't make assumptions - encourage them to keep on parenting well.
Comments
Post a Comment