Another answered prayer.

- A response to I’m BAAAACK - 

God heard your intersessions and overflowed me with these words this morning in response; sent at 8:18am this morning:  

I hear your concerns, but where will he go? There are really three options for the next two weeks: 

- Stays with you until a safe place is available at (the RTC willing to take placement) 

- Comes home & gets his behaviors reinforced by getting to be home - where we have 3 other children who could become victims & parents who don’t have shift changes, security or a team of professionals on site: where he’s been for 7 very difficult years

 - Goes to a foster home/temporary center with staff who are uninvested and will likely abuse him & push him to another facility after hours (as he had been when we applied for respite)

He’s been hit, restrained & verbally abused by staff in almost every setting he’s ever been in - and that’s the stuff we know about.  This is BEFORE (these new) behaviors. 

We actually trust you all and while I know it feels impossible, I want to be sure we thought of every option and considered Henry’s life may be on the line. The only other RTC he’s been accepted at that could take placement - and I’m unsure if they will - have had multiple kids assaulted within the first 24 hours of placement. I’ve have friends experience this. I’m terrified they will place him there and want to make sure I’ve done everything I can. 

I’m not sure if you’re a parent, but understand we have had our home completely devastated by (our son) for years. It’s infuriating to have a team of professionals unwilling to push through two weeks - because we have been in moving vehicles with things being thrown at us, been through handfuls of therapists who also had no idea how to help us and psychiatrists that pump him full of a new myriad of medications after hospitalizations and send him home.  After each scary situation and needing to have 1:1 nurses change shifts every 2 hours, they send him home because he is safer here. But, do we deserve to be safe, too? 

Please consider these things. Maybe Wraparound (his Behavioral Health HMO) can offer additional funding or resources for the next several weeks to get your staff the support they need. 

I’m a rare, intentional, loving mom who’s been through the ringer with this kid - and I will continue to fight for him, but I am FAR less resourced than you.  

Let me know if there is ANY way to make it work for two more weeks. I am happy to discuss this with your supervisors, CEO, etc to brainstorm & at least try to come up with solutions. 

Maybe CPS will come up with a safe, viable option, but until then - please consider what he’s already been through: 

4 families 

5 hospitalizations 

6 schools 

SO much abuse from many. 

He deserves so much more. 

I know you have limits & boundaries and if I had any other options, I would respect that. I’m not one to beg, but a momma’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. 

Thanks for taking the time to consider - 

You guys. They changed their minds. He softened their hearts. Read their (censored) response just 37 minutes later: 

I spoke to my team again.  We will keep (him) until he can transition to (the new Residental Treatment Center) (July 11^th).  We will utilize 1:1 staff, when we are able.  I know you mentioned offering some tips that have worked for you.  Please follow up with (his therapist) tomorrow or Friday so she can pass along the information.

 

On a side note: you are an amazing mother and advocate for your child, I wish we had more parents like you to work with.

 

Take Care

Look at what God has done. Amen. 

I’m thankful for the many of you who entered into this with us by offering up prayers for our family - especially for the staff to see our son as we do. Thanks for those of you who asked God to give me the strength and words to use. 

I mean, if God can use me, He can absolutely use you. We are imperfect, but He is flawless. Amazing, isn't it? 

For months, I've been editing a book and trying to believe my words can actually impact people, but again - lies overwhelmed me and I started to believe no one would want to hear my voice. I am so aware of my imperfections, I forget God can use me. 

You're response in reading, commenting, liking and sharing our story over the years and in the past 24 hours reminded me that: he sure does use me. (Mevs - that was for you.) What an honor it is to be used by him.  

Sometimes we look around and see people being used by God, but forget that "they" are just like us.  Insecure. Flawed. Terrified. The difference between those who want to do good and those who do good is courage.

This past Sunday, we had a guest speaker at our church who busted through an incredible amount of truths in the 30-some minutes he was given. He spoke of the options we have as we respond to God's love for us. We can either be cautious or courageous. Check it out - but maybe finish your coffee first. He is powerful and has A LOT to say. 

I am nothing special. Like you - just a human with lots of limits, but also one with strengths. God didn't give me any more strengths than He's given you. I'm just VERY aware of my need for him. I depend on His wisdom, not my own. Constantly. I need Him. Every. Single. Day. Sure, as I've known Him and understood new things about Him, this world has felt less daunting. I've seen Him transform lives instead of fix problems. But, I am not unique in that way. 

Our God wants to use you, too. Be courageous. Stop clapping at my obedience - join me. Jump in the trenches of responding out of courage. Step outside of your comfort zone and claim God's victories in your life. 

My strength comes from Him alone and He's got plenty of strength to go around. 

**If you don't know God this way and want to learn more, please reach out to me. I would LOVE to guide you through His incredible love for you.**