With our feet on the ground
Tomorrow marks a second anniversary for us that was not only life changing, but traumatic. After a series of events which occurred after a foster home lost placement of three children and their biological mother voluntarily terminated her own rights, we were left at an crossroad. We could take the wide, well lit, beautiful, scenic highway with our two adopted kids OR we could take the path that barely had tire marks - the dark, foggy road with no end in sight with obvious obstacles and road work. We had to decide if we would take a leap of faith and follow a divine call to adopt these three kids needing an adoptive home immediately. They called us late that afternoon as the worker was on her way to pick up the kids - trying a shot in the dark - a last ditch effort to keep these siblings together.
After only an hour or two of discord and unsettled hearts, we finally prayed and it was clear - especially to Ben: we needed to go get our kids. Usually in our marriage, it is easier for me to hear the voice of God. Ben is so intelligent and thoughtful, he often wrestles with God's ideas that seem counter intuitive and initially this was no different. I was emotional, not wanting to say yes or no to these kids - wishing we could go back to not knowing about them because my heart was so heavy for them. My mind was racing and all i could do is cry. I didn't want a life of uncertainty, needing help and being overwhelmed by my inability to take care of my kids, but I couldn't shake the feeling they were ours.
So, in a Dave & Busters parking lot, our lives changed forever. Ben asked God to remove my burden and make it clear to us what to do so we could move forward. After he prayed, with confidence he told me it was time to get our kids. As I panicked, he asked me to call the caseworker before our fear of what was to come blinded our willingness to obey the God. He had clearly set out the path for theses kids to be ours and it was time to jump in with our feet first. The months leading up to this day were not coincidental - God had been preparing our hearts for months for this very phone call - we needed to obey.
As so many of you know, the last two years has been a whirlwind. We've needed so much help with no time or energy for anything except getting through each day. We are so grateful to so many therapists who have walked alongside us over the past year especially after our oldest's hospitalization. The help of so many specialists have lead us to healing. While we are still on this narrow, messy path in raising our five, we are starting to feel like our feet are on the ground. There are definitely still rough moments, days and weeks - but, the months of drowning are finally behind us. With the help of so many loving friends & family, we have been able to take care of ourselves so we could love our kids well.
Now after two years, we can say we are no longer just trying to survive - we are starting to live as a family. We still need you - don't get me wrong - but we need your acceptance of our kids, we want you to join us for pizza and a movie on a Friday night or watch a few of the kids so we can get away for the weekend. We no longer need you - our support system, our village - to carry us, but we ask you to please keep walking with us. We are making progress as we begin our third year together.
(Photo cred: pixabay free image)
After only an hour or two of discord and unsettled hearts, we finally prayed and it was clear - especially to Ben: we needed to go get our kids. Usually in our marriage, it is easier for me to hear the voice of God. Ben is so intelligent and thoughtful, he often wrestles with God's ideas that seem counter intuitive and initially this was no different. I was emotional, not wanting to say yes or no to these kids - wishing we could go back to not knowing about them because my heart was so heavy for them. My mind was racing and all i could do is cry. I didn't want a life of uncertainty, needing help and being overwhelmed by my inability to take care of my kids, but I couldn't shake the feeling they were ours.So, in a Dave & Busters parking lot, our lives changed forever. Ben asked God to remove my burden and make it clear to us what to do so we could move forward. After he prayed, with confidence he told me it was time to get our kids. As I panicked, he asked me to call the caseworker before our fear of what was to come blinded our willingness to obey the God. He had clearly set out the path for theses kids to be ours and it was time to jump in with our feet first. The months leading up to this day were not coincidental - God had been preparing our hearts for months for this very phone call - we needed to obey.
As so many of you know, the last two years has been a whirlwind. We've needed so much help with no time or energy for anything except getting through each day. We are so grateful to so many therapists who have walked alongside us over the past year especially after our oldest's hospitalization. The help of so many specialists have lead us to healing. While we are still on this narrow, messy path in raising our five, we are starting to feel like our feet are on the ground. There are definitely still rough moments, days and weeks - but, the months of drowning are finally behind us. With the help of so many loving friends & family, we have been able to take care of ourselves so we could love our kids well.
Now after two years, we can say we are no longer just trying to survive - we are starting to live as a family. We still need you - don't get me wrong - but we need your acceptance of our kids, we want you to join us for pizza and a movie on a Friday night or watch a few of the kids so we can get away for the weekend. We no longer need you - our support system, our village - to carry us, but we ask you to please keep walking with us. We are making progress as we begin our third year together.
(Photo cred: pixabay free image)
Comments
Post a Comment